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These Hilarious Halloween Jokes Will Have the Little Monsters Screaming With Delight

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Halloween may be the spookiest time of the year, but it’s also a holiday for candy-filled fun and laughter — especially with the best Halloween jokes to get the monsters and ghouls giggling all night! After carving some pumpkins and filling up on the best Halloween desserts, give the kids another treat (this time in the form of laughter!) with these hilarious jokes for Halloween, ranging from clever knock-knock jokes to punny jokes about spooky monsters.

Not sure which one will tickle the most funny bones at this year’s Halloween party? No matter your audience’s sense of humor, these Halloween jokes, puns, and one-liners will delight scaredy-cats and thrill-seekers alike — and will definitely have all the witches cackling and all the werewolves howling with laughter for the silliest Halloween yet. And if you’re looking for even more ideas to fill your holiday with laughter and fun, be sure to check out our best Halloween games, Halloween crafts, and more!


Halloween Trick or Treat Jokes

  • What do birds say on Halloween? “Trick or tweet!”
  • Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
  • Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy? At the ghost-ery store!
  • What do owls say when they go trick or treating? “Happy Owl-ween!”
  • What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? Booberries!
  • Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with? His ghoul friend.
  • What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
  • What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
  • What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy? “Trick-or-feet!”
  • Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat? Boo jeans.
  • What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!

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    Halloween Knock Knock Jokes

    • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry … it’s just my Halloween costume!
    • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
    • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
    • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
    • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Olive! Olive who? Olive your Halloween costume!
    • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bee! Bee who? Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!
    • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you!
    • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
    • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hans. Hans who? Hans off my candy!
    • Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
    • Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for Halloween all year!

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      Halloween Monster Jokes

      • What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
      • How do you make a skeleton laugh? You tickle his funny bone!
      • Which Halloween monster is good at math? Count Dracula!
      • Why did the Cyclops give up teaching? He only had one pupil!
      • Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? He didn’t have the guts.
      • What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? “You sure are boo-tiful!”
      • Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
      • Why are ghosts terrible liars? You can see right through them!
      • Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind.
      • What is a vampire’s favorite holiday, besides Halloween? Fangs-giving!
      • Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques!
      • What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!

          Peter DazeleyGetty Images

          Halloween Food Jokes

          • What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
          • What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal? “Bone Appetit!”
          • What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
          • What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
          • What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
          • What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
          • What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
          • What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae? Whipped scream.
          • What’s a ghost’s favorite yogurt flavor? Boo-berry!
          • What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? A steak!
          • Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!

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            Teen gave hilarious ‘additional instructions’ for Amazon delivery driver, and she followed them to a tee

            Teen gave hilarious ‘additional instructions’ for Amazon delivery driver, and she followed them to a tee

            Receiving a package that you ordered can make for a joyous moment. But for one Delaware family, their smiles were turned into full-blown laughter after their Amazon delivery woman followed their particular set of delivery instructions perfectly.Lynn Staffieri of Magnolia, Delaware, needed a new pet playpen for the kittens her family was fostering, so she ordered one on Amazon. But she failed to see the “additional instructions” that her teenage son had mischievously set as a default a couple months earlier.In the box under the prompt that reads, “Do we need additional instructions to find this address?” 13-year-old Jacob Staffieri wrote, “No, but knock on the door 3 times and scream abra cadabra as loud as you can and run super fast away.””It was just the first thing that came to mind, and I thought it would be funny to hear someone say that,” Jacob Staffieri told CNN.When the package arrived last week, Staffieri was unaware of the instructions, and her son had forgotten, so when they heard three knocks on their door and someone screaming “abra cadabra,” they were shocked.They turned to see the moment recorded on their Nest camera, and it made their day.”(Jacob) was cracking up. He thought it was the funniest thing. He didn’t think that anyone would do that,” Staffieri said. “I thought it was great. It gave us such a laugh.”Staffieri posted the video on Facebook and it blew up, with over 20,000 shares and 17,000 reactions.”In today’s world, we all need a little fun and laughter. What a great Amazon lady for playing along with this,” one person commented.Staffieri apologized, saying she knows that her son shouldn’t have done that, but she said that she hopes the Amazon delivery woman knows that she made thousands of people laugh.Related video: UPS Driver plays with dog during delivery”I’m sure that the jobs of essential workers have been so tough and people have been ordering a lot of stuff, so she must have been busy,” Staffieri said. “But for her to have the energy and attention to detail, it just put a smile on our faces.”

            MAGNOLIA, Del. —

            Receiving a package that you ordered can make for a joyous moment. But for one Delaware family, their smiles were turned into full-blown laughter after their Amazon delivery woman followed their particular set of delivery instructions perfectly.

            Lynn Staffieri of Magnolia, Delaware, needed a new pet playpen for the kittens her family was fostering, so she ordered one on Amazon. But she failed to see the “additional instructions” that her teenage son had mischievously set as a default a couple months earlier.

            In the box under the prompt that reads, “Do we need additional instructions to find this address?” 13-year-old Jacob Staffieri wrote, “No, but knock on the door 3 times and scream abra cadabra as loud as you can and run super fast away.”

            “It was just the first thing that came to mind, and I thought it would be funny to hear someone say that,” Jacob Staffieri told CNN.

            When the package arrived last week, Staffieri was unaware of the instructions, and her son had forgotten, so when they heard three knocks on their door and someone screaming “abra cadabra,” they were shocked.

            They turned to see the moment recorded on their Nest camera, and it made their day.

            “(Jacob) was cracking up. He thought it was the funniest thing. He didn’t think that anyone would do that,” Staffieri said. “I thought it was great. It gave us such a laugh.”

            Staffieri posted the video on Facebook and it blew up, with over 20,000 shares and 17,000 reactions.

            “In today’s world, we all need a little fun and laughter. What a great Amazon lady for playing along with this,” one person commented.

            Staffieri apologized, saying she knows that her son shouldn’t have done that, but she said that she hopes the Amazon delivery woman knows that she made thousands of people laugh.

            Related video: UPS Driver plays with dog during delivery

            “I’m sure that the jobs of essential workers have been so tough and people have been ordering a lot of stuff, so she must have been busy,” Staffieri said. “But for her to have the energy and attention to detail, it just put a smile on our faces.”

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            Star Wars theory: A hilarious prequels moment explains a Palpatine mystery

            Darth Sidious’s dark Sith robes are as iconic as Vader’s mask or Leia’s braided buns. However, his not-so-secret double life as Senator Sheev Palpatine means that in the prequels, he’s only wearing them half the time.

            Palp’s robes provide a visual clue to which alter ego he’s portraying at any given moment. And while we only see him donning the robes over his Senate finery once, but it reveals a lot about his true nature.

            One of the most important scenes in Revenge of the Sith is the moment Anakin Skywalker receives the name Darth Vader from his new Sith master. Anakin kneels in front of Palpatine, who gives him his new title and reminds him the Jedi are now the enemy of the Republic right before sending Vader off to the Jedi Temple to dice up some younglings.

            It’s pretty standard Palpatine dialogue, but Reddit user Prior-Branch recently took a deep dive into a truly odd moment from this key Revenge of the Sith scene.

            Halfway through the conversation, Palps puts on his Sith robe and flips up the hood. There’s no reason to do it. They’re in the Emperor’s private quarters, and Anakin knows his true identity. It seems he just wanted to put it on to truly immerse himself in the Darth Sidious role.

            We knew Palpatine had a flair for the dramatic, but this is over-the-top even by his standards. Elsewhere in the Star Wars films, Sheev never seemed quite so conscious of his performance. He was simply dramatic by virtue of being evil.

            This moment hints at the thought and effort behind all these theatrics. It’s almost like watching Sheev sit in his bedroom practicing his evil laugh.

            A newly revitalized Sheev in his Sunday Sith best. Lucasfilm

            We know Palpatine is deliberate and meticulous in his evildoing, and this is further proof of it. But there’s more meat on the bone here. His obsession with image brings to mind a key moment from Rise of Skywalker, when he used Rey and Kylo’s life force to revive himself.

            Look closely, and his robes seem to transform with an interesting red motif. Did the robes revive with him? Or did he change to greet his cultists in his Sith best?

            Here’s a more detailed shot of one of his outfits from Revenge of the Sith: Palps has had a thing for crimson in his outfits for decades now.

            The Senate, serving leg-of-mutton sleeve realness.Lucasfilm

            This is what makes Palpatine the quintessential Star Wars villain: He’s power-hungry, but also vain. He glories in making onlookers cringe at that melted, craggy face. Along with his thirst for glory comes a thirst to be remembered at his best, and even if it seems silly, that can come across as preening vanity. Apparently, under his Ommin harness he’s stashed away a couple of wardrobe changes in case of emergency, and there’s no better villain move than that.

            Welcome to Star Wars Week! To celebrate the 15-year anniversary of Revenge of the Sith (May 19) and the 40-year anniversary of The Empire Strikes Back (May 21), we’re talking about our favorite sci-fi franchise for nine days straight.

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            See the hilarious way this news station is reminding people what day it is

            Chat with us in Facebook Messenger. Find out what’s happening in the world as it unfolds.
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