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COVID- Hospital

My dad died of COVID. I work at a hospital. I have very few friends. Please, I am so tired and just need a hug.

level 1May his memory be a blessing. Perhaps once your brother has had time to notify people by phone you would be able to post on FB and Twitter to get support and share the news so people are cautioned to be more careful. I’m so sorry for your loss.level 2Thank you for your reply…

level 1

May his memory be a blessing. Perhaps once your brother has had time to notify people by phone you would be able to post on FB and Twitter to get support and share the news so people are cautioned to be more careful. I’m so sorry for your loss.

level 2

Thank you for your reply and kindness. I am going to wait until the end of the weekend to post on either platform. I had posted after it happened because I was grasping at straws trying to find anyone to just get me out of the initial tunnel vision that I had. I was at the hospital dropping off his clothes and the moment they pulled me into the physician’s dictation room, everything dropped beneath me.

Some of my family, my brother included, do not take it seriously and almost seem to mock it. I hope it’s a wake up call for the family that are this way. We were unable to save my dad but maybe we can save others with them doing their part.

Thank you again. Just being able to type and talk right now is saving me from constant anxiety and panic and.. just all of the emotions. Thank you so, so much.

level 1

I am here and I read every word you posted and am listening if there’s more.

I am so sorry about your Dad. I’m so sorry for this whole crap house dumpster fire that is covid.

Please keep posting about what’s going on inside your head, don’t bottle it up. You’ve got a safe space here x

level 2

Thank you for taking your time to reply. I literally got off the couch and stopped my sobbing. I walked to my dining room table and started typing. It’s truly therapeutic and I thank you for gifting me with this. This is the most baseline ‘okay’ that I’ve felt since the beginning of the week. Like I said, this subreddit reminds me of hope.

I am so ready for COVID to be put to the bins. Again, I love my job and I love the hospital I work at.. it just feels like a war sometimes. And even with a vaccine on the way and better treatment when patients are diagnosed.. I still feel like we are on the losing side.

Thank you again for your time and reply. It’s taken some of the weight off of my heart.

level 1

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️ where do you live?

level 2

Jacksonville, Florida. It’s terrible here in regards to masks and how COVID is handled/treated by government officials and many of the residents. My dad wore a mask everywhere. Even when he was outside cutting the grass. I’m not sure how he got it but.. it took him. I’ve seen co-workers get it and some extended family get it (asymptomatic or limited symptoms). But dad is the first who died.

Thank you for the love and kindness. It means so much to be able to sit here and type. Just to feel that crushing weight on my heart go down a hair or two means so much. Thank you beyond words.

level 1

Thank you for posting this. I was sitting here pouting because I won’t get Thanksgiving this year and now I’m done. One kind of depressing day vs. what you’re going through.

level 2

Trust me, I was upset over Thanksgiving too. We were trying to decide if we would just do it with the three of us (spouse and our three year old) or if we would invite my parents and possibly my aunt to keep it very small. Our son is a toddler now and we really wanted to see how Thanksgiving truly was, so I was slightly selfish in wanting to be with family for the holiday. My mom is isolation now until her PCR test comes back (probably Monday) and I am heartbroken she is by herself. If she is negative, I’m going to have her here to do Thanksgiving in his honor.

And please know, it’s okay to pout or be sad/mad/angry that Thanksgiving may be off the table. Behind the scenes, all medical staff feel the same way. We all have to make choices about how we are handling Thanksgiving and almost everyone is depressed with how they have to handle it. So do not dismiss your feelings and thoughts.

Thank you for comment and kindness.

level 1

I’m so sorry for your loss ! I too work with Covid patients and know how mentally & emotionally exhausting it is to deal with. Please seek some form of therapy (there are so many online grief therapists) if you feel you need it. Sending you some virtual hugs (((((hugs)))))

level 2

Absolutely. Medical work (especially right now) hits all three areas – physical, emotional, and mental. It’s been so taxing mentally and emotionally. Thank you so much for your work during this time. I know it feels like we’ve run a marathon. We know there is a finish line in site, but we don’t know how many more miles we have to run. I pray that you stay safe during all of this and please take care of yourself too. The biggest thing I’ve had to learn was to manage and give myself self care during this time. The really bad shifts where you feel complete and utter exhaustion – those days where you have to just take care of yourself first.

I plan to request therapy through my hospital on Monday. I believe they give 10 free sessions per year and if you are enrolled in the hospital’s insurance plan, they cover 50% of your copay for any visits beyond that.

Thank you again and we will get through this.

level 2

There are truly no words in any dictionary of any language to define the kindness that everyone has expressed in this moment. Your words have made me sob and as soon as my son wakes up, I just want to hold him tight because there is a flood of positive and hopeful emotions that are building in my chest. I talked to him on the phone about 3, 4 hours before he coded. He said that the hospital was taking care of him and his nurses were so nice. That he loved me.

Thank you for letting me type that out – to be open. It means so much to me and thank you. I can’t wait for my son to wake up because even though he doesn’t understand everything – I love him so much and he loves me and just this flood of emotion. Thank you again, beyond words. I truly appreciate you

level 1

I’m so sorry for your loss. Keep posting and venting. Don’t keep your feelings bottled up. If you’d rather not post on Facebook again, DM me. I’ll listen.

level 2

It’s definitely helping just being able to sit here and reply to comments. I guess it feels like self care. I’m making myself drink a breakfast drink while typing away and that alone is a world of a difference where all night I didn’t want to eat. Just taking care of myself is the first step to navigate these waters.

I know I’ve still got my raw emotions bottled up, but I know they will come out when they’re ready to come out. I’ll keep your username to the side to message. I know last night I was scrolling up and down through my contacts trying to find anyone to text. I’m just not close to many people. So thank you for offering that. It feels like a safety net.

Thank you for everything and above all, please stay safe.

level 1

Sending you love, from a fellow nurse ❤

level 2

Thank you so much.

We got this. We will get through this damn marathon and it is going to get better. I know you are sick and tired of it too and.. we go this. Thank you for all you do.

level 2

Ahhhhh, fellow ROCKSTAR…((nurse hugs)) 😉

level 1

Please tell us anything you need too, no matter how long! I will read every word. God bless you and your family.

level 2

Thank you so much for your kindness. Your prayers and thoughtfulness are definitely being stored and help take some of the weight off of my shoulders (and heart). Thank you again. It’s been therapeutic to be able to just.. let everything out. Especially now that the shock is gone and the reality and gravity set in.

I appreciate you, and again, thank you.

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